Things are Going Down


Thinking I had good news for those days but nope. It is going like hell. I need to tell you from the beginning. So I got a new job in one coffee shop. I don’t want to tell the name of the place. The boss was so nice during the interview. She asked a couple of questions, she smiled a bit. I thought ‘oohh she is nice’, also her kids are working here. So this place is warm and cute. I wish some higher hand should have stopped me. But no of course. As soon as I started to work there, she changed in a minute. There are yellings, swearings, etc. I want to give an example about one situation. My boss and I were working together. I am new so you think I can make some mistakes if I didn’t get the proper training right? Apparently I cannot. So we were working together. You need to put 2 shots for hot drinks and 2 long shots for the ıced coffees. I misunderstand the women and I press the button for 2 shots. I didn’t put the milk or water in. I didn’t waste anything, I mean you can use that shot for another order you know. She looked at the shot and started to yell at me, ‘she ordered an ıced coffee, I told you before, you cannot use 2 long shots, fuck!’ When she was looking at the shot ‘fuck it, shit!’ I was about to cry. And those things happened in front of the customers. On that exact day, I was getting orders from the customers, she turned and started to yell again ‘you are not doing anything, you are just standing there I am dying in here, do cleaning or something!’ 

I wish I would never ever quit. I know I should quit this also. I want to resist it and I don’t want to quit jobs in that very little time. I am not sure how many days I can stand it but I want to try. 

On that weekend me and 3 of my friends decided to go to Tobermory. We had a car, we packed our bags. It was for just one day, we took the road early in the morning. Our ‘clever’ friend decided to go 163 km, on the max 80 km road. Of course the police were involved and he took our car when there was only 30 mins left. I didn’t know, in Canada if you go over 150 km, it means that you either want to kill yourself or someone. That is why the police took our car. We had to take a cab from there to freaking downtown. It cost 430 cad for 4 people. Of course it is too much for me! I didn’t even want to go to Tobermory in the first place! My vote was for Wonderland.

I feel so down. In the workplace I feel like I am worthless, at the outside I cannot even go wherever I want. Usually, I am working approximately 20 hours in the coffee shop, 5 more hours doing uber (I can only work for 25 hours as an international student) but after those things I just want to sleep.  I don’t think I have enough energy to manage all things in my life. 3 days of last week the boy from the class took me on a date just to make sure that I wasn’t going to cry. He left me alone just one day and I cried myself to sleep. The pressure is so damn hard. I know I am just making coffee. I am also thinking that way but my boss just wants to make sure that I feel miserable.

I don’t have good news for now. I hope next week will be better bitchezz.

kiss kiss!

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