Maybe It is not that bad


So on Friday I had a little breakdown again after work. That day I went to the office at 8 AM. And since my boss is a bitch I am just ignoring her during mornings till she calls me to ask about my tasks for the day. That day I couldnt ignoe her because she decided to fuck us all at 8 AM,I am repeating it, at 8 AM.

On Friday we had no wifi connection in the entire building. Apparently, all other business has this information because no one but us was in the building. But of course, my boss decided to not to tell anything about this situation and ask for us to use our own hotspot for work, you may think that she would give pay us back, in a perfect world, maybe. So was mad at not having an internet connection but of course yelling at us. Then I suppose after checking her emails after 15 minutes, she realized one of my colligues made a mistake in her email to client. Btw I want to inform you, after digging a bit we realized that there was no mistake. Also, my coworker who made that mistake wasn’t even in the office yet. So my lovely boss decided to yell at us for fucking ONE HOUR. Yes I wish I was kidding. But no, she yelled for fucking one hour to us who didnt make that fucking mistake which is not even a mistake. She was in a bitchy mood all day long. Of course my immune system is just collapsed after a while because of the stress level. After I get off from work i start crying until arrive home. I was in a bad condition like I was literally thinking of going back to Turkey, maybe Canada was not for me, I couldn’t handle the pressure, I was just thinking how miserable I am. And I slept with all those thoughts.

So on Saturday I actually pity myself to feel miserable and I choose to not feel miserable at least for one day, at least during my day off. My bf found out there is a street festival going on in Ossington. I put on one of my favorite shirts, got ready for the day and went to the Dundas West Festival. Totally forget how lamentable, woebegone is my life and started to freakishly enjoy it, like I am not having break down 6 times in a week. 

As soon as I stepped on that street I started to dance. After every 10 stands there were either local artists concerts or a dj cabinet. At one moment when one Spanish local singer was singing, we found ourselves in a large Spanish community, dancing and laughing together. 

At that moment while I was dancing every 10 steps, our life wasn’t that bad. We found each other in Toronto with my boyfriend. When I fall he is there for me, when he falls I am there for him. When it’s summer, street festivals and community meetings are there for us. We make each other’s lives tolerable. Finding someone who wants to hear your daily life, travelling the world together. Isn’t that the main point?

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