Well, hello hello fellas! This two week goes like one month! I don’t have any idea where I should begin! On Thursday after class, we (the boy from class and I) decided to eat wings and drink good beer. There is a place on King street, which has the best wings in Toronto. So we decided to go there anyways. There was also a man with his dog. He was also chilling, drinking his beer. I played with his dog, he was also a very friendly and calm dog, unleashed but as I said he was calm. When we were drinking our beer, two strange people with their leashed dog messed with this man. I think they were crackheads. I knew something was going to happen at that moment because that one girl with the dog told him that her dog is so aggressive. After that she loose the leash of her dog. The dog tried to bite the man’s dog. The man’s beer poured out, and the table was almost overturned. She started to yell, actually she was yelling for no reason from the beginning. At that moment she was yelling like a crazy person. Poor dog was just sitting with terrified eyes. After a couple of minutes the man threw his glass to those 2 strange people. They were yelling like victims. They were the ones who tried to piss him off. They accused him of being a racist. They obviously want a fight and we just wanted to drink a beer and go home that’s all. Police came, and they wanted to talk to us. Omg it was the whole mess. Btw police came in two sec. I am so curious about something. When crackheads do something wrong, there is no police, they do anything. When some people lose themselves for just one sec, they are here to punish him/her. Some crackheads stole my friend’s bike 3 times! And they did basically nothing. Btw he locks his bike everytime, they break the lock every time. I mean those 2 people messed with him and made him and his dog uncomfortable. Where were police officers when they were yelling and inviting him to fight? Where were police officers when my boyfriend’s bike got stolen? Of course they talked and kept the man, not the crackheads. I really want to understand the mentality behind this situation.

Almost all of my friends want to go back to their hometown. I have been here for almost five months but some of my friends have been in Toronto more than 7 months and they feel so tired you know. All these stolen bikes, working with horrible managers, all homeless people, crackheads, it’s just too much. Sometimes we feel like we live in Gotham. Not all the time but sometimes. Of course as a woman I feel safe in Toronto but those crackheads make everything worse, they are splitting to people man! We don’t have family here, maybe this is the reason that we feel down sometimes. 

When I feel down I also feel so lucky actually. There is someone that I can hug for hours, not even talk for ones. When I come back from work, I can lay on someone’s lap for hours without talking. I’ve just learned one of my friends tried to kill himself because of loneliness a couple months ago. We have some shits going on here, people are not making it easier of course. I am not saying that everyone should change their behaviour and laws should change, we just need a little empathy, that’s all. We know that this is our choice, but still, we don’t deserve yelling or losing our stuff. We just want to work and study. That’s all. If we are that bad, you shouldn’t let us in. I am not sure if I could explain myself but it is what it is. Okey okey it got too depressed.

I want to say something about the boy from the class. I realize I am not crazy in love with him or insanely chasing him. I feel more calm and sanely in love. I want to be with him all the time but also we have boundaries. We respect each other a lot, we are like best friends. One of my classmates told me that he thinks that we are just close friends, it makes me feel really good. This is the situation where I want to be in a relationship. When we feel down we are here for each other for comfort. In my previous relationship I was acting and also feeling like a crazy fan of this person lol. But with him I feel so calm, peace. Some nights he hugs me so hard that I wake up. Then fall asleep with a smiley face. I am happy fellas.

Omg I almost forgot to mention about my work. You know my boss acting like a b*tch. She called me honey this week! I have no idea what happened but she changed. Omg she changed. She doesn’t yell at me that much and doesn’t swear at me anymore! I am proud of myself and feel super strong. I am not a quitter. I can fight, and achieve so many things. She called me honey maann! I still don’t feel that I belong here like I felt in my previous workplace (latino cafe) but at least I feel so strong right now. For example, my classmates and one of my teachers visited me in the latino cafe , we talked and laughed for hours. I cannot invite them to this cafe because I really don’t feel that I fit here. It is okay, I mean what can I do about it. I cannot attach to one job I think. I want to but it is ımpossible right now.

I  talked to muucch I knoow, sorry. Last but least, I feel lucky fellas.

See you bithezz! Kiss kiss.

One response to “Honey”

  1. Thank you! Nice shots of the city.

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