As you already know, I am doing uber. My feets are hurting, sometimes I cry myself to sleep and sometimes I just feel that I am no longer in my 20s. I feel like my eyes are getting smaller, my brain just stopped working and my hands are just old. You know that look.
The other day I just cried myself to sleep when the fire alarm of the building started to go off. My eyes were looking like cartoon cat’s eyes. I couldn’t understand the noise at the first place, I was just walking around the house and trying to figure it out. Then I stopped and started to laugh but it was so hard. I realized I was having a petty party for myself. I am saving money, I have a lovely house, I am with someone who cares about me. I have no idea how that alarm hit me that hard but it is what it is. It was my first fire alarm experience in my life. There are no fire alarms in the houses where I came from. That’s why it was so strange for me to hear that irritable, unnerving sound in the house.
And I got my first shot of the covid vaccine! I was never terrified of needles. Arda was also with, he was also getting his first shot. At that point I just want to be needy, I don’t know where that came from but I just want to act as I am scared of needles and like a little girl. Maybe it is how I am coping with the new take care of yourself era. He just was there and supported me, he didn’t even question it. I was the one who was questioning her own country. You know in Turkey we are supposed to take a shot of no countries want vaccines. If I was still staying in Turkey I am sure that it would take months for me to get my vaccine. My own country doesn’t want to take care of me and this total stranger, miles away, doesn’t even know me country, wants me to get my shot, takes care of my health. After I got it, I totally forgot that I was acting needy, I was smiling because I remembered how to feel being an important person for the government. I am serious, you wouldn’t know how to feel like if someone kills me on the street just because I wear a skirt or little cut off jeans, there will be no investigation or punishment. Maybe at some point some groups would hug him to kill that sinner girl. Right now I feel like I can express myself as I want. Thank you for that Canada!
Attended my very first virtual job interview, it was horrible actually, It took 2 seconds for them to reject me because I am not a Canadian but at least I attended one of them lol. Anyhoo I dyed my hair by myself for the first time in my life. Yees you heard me! I am now independent, getting her vaccine, dying her hair, earning and saving her own money kind of gal. Finally!
See you bithezz!